Working at a Japanese high school means you have to get used to students sleeping in class. Or acting like dicks, so at least it’s like high schools in other countries in that regard.
I found out what I’ve been doing wrong though. Turns out the way to get them motivated is to offer a promise of violence. And a bizarre, poorly thought out offer seems to be the way to go, as demonstrated by the teacher in charge of what is (laughingly) translated as the cheerleading team (the Japanese doesn’t really translate to ‘cheerleading’ – ’supporter’ team is more accurate and so this translation is amusing to me as I work at a boys’ school and enjoy imagining them with pom-poms and miniskirts.)
Anyway, a student had decided that showing up for ’supporter’ team practice was a bit beneath him, and went off without permission to hook up with his girlfriend, possibly for some heavy petting in the park. The teacher in charge of the cheerleading team was not best pleased with this attitude, hormones before duty, ho’s before bro’s – whatever. Something got his goat, and he responded with an admirably deranged diatribe:
“I’MA GONNA BURN DOWN YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN’ HOUSE! YOU BEST TELL YOUR MAMA WHAT I’MA GONNA DO ‘COS SHE BETTA CALL THE COPS ELSE YOU GONNA BURN TO DEATH TONIGHT!!!!!!1″
(I swear this is an accurate translation. Except for the swearwords. Japanese doesn’t really have any.)
